Tired and sad

I hate this time of night, no one else is awake...
sleep is no where in sight.
That's when my thoughts begin to churn, the pain sets in...
hollow promises burn.

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I don't know why I'm so annoyed. It shouldn't get to me the way it has. I should be happy, I was happy only moments ago. Today was a great day, all things considered. But then I had to remember him asking if I was mad because he wasn't rushing up here. As if his inability to support the monsters, his eagerness to be so far from them and their anguish over his departure aren't enough reason for me to be mad. Grr. It really really angers me that he doesn't see what he's doing to them.

Then, in an attempt to cheer myself up and (hopefully) make Oscar smile - I flubbed up and only made things worse. Which really gets to me. =( You know how you just want to share a happy moment and make someone dear to your heart smile? Well that was what happened. But then I found out it didn't make him smile... and now I'm sad. Even the thoughts of Jack coming by tomorrow are no comfort.

I just wanted a happy day. That's all. Was it really too much to ask for???

I'm tired, I want to sleep... fricken A! I just want to sleep...