Ever feel like you're not being listened to?

Fricken A.

So I decided I am getting a tattoo for my birthday this year. I'm going to get a "stargazer lily" with a dragonfly on my right calf. I want it to go the length of my calf, and I want it to take up most of the outside of my calf. Well, he's the artistic one in the family. And I wanted him to have a part in it so I asked him to design it for me. I sent him a TON of pictures of the type/style of lily I want and the way I want the dragonfly to look. (I don't like the dragonflies that look like they were flattened in a book, I want it to appear to be flying.) I told him the colors I want and asked him to incorporate mine and the kids first initials, one hidden in each petal (i.e. the way the petal lays, the shading of the color etc).

He said ok and went to work on it. But every design he came up with was what he wanted or thought looked good. I explained I wanted it bigger, I wanted it taller, I wanted it to "stand-up" from ankle to almost knee length - still he did not want to hear what I was saying. Grrr. This is how it is with everything. I finally just told him not to worry about it, to just forget I asked.

I mean, it's a permanent marking on my body - it should be something I love. Something I want to be on me forever. Not something I settled on. I want it to "show off" on my leg. I want it out there.

I'm so fricken annoyed that he won't listen to me. I explained that I liked the designs, but could this or that be done to make it more of what I am looking for - he got mad. And when he gets mad the discussion is over. There is no talking things over. There is no fighting about it. There is no explaining different points of view and coming to a compromise. It's just over. That's how it is with everything. I can't stand it anymore.

I know this is just a stupid tattoo design. But it's so much more. This is how he interacts with me. This is the basis of our issues. And when I try to explain that to him, he shuts down. So how am I supposed to fix this?

His point was I said he had creative freedom over the design, that's why he didn't listen to me. When I explained "Just because I say you have creative reign doesn't mean I get no input. That's like going to an architect saying I want a 3 bedroom house now design me one. The architect is going to ask questions, figure out the clients likes/dislikes etc. Their not going to say ok here is what I designed you have to like it and use it." He didn't like that analogy and once again the conversation was ended.

God I am so tired of him not talking to me. I just ... I just... I don't know. I want it all to stop, everything. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I'm tired of hurting over him not talking to me, I'm tired of it all.