I was asked today if I thought things were truly over with him and I; I really do. It kills me to think/feel that but I just don't think I can ever trust him again. After every lie he's ever told me, resentment has built so thickly that I can't seem to get past it.
Jack gave me his number today and I am so tempted to call him. I just want to be done with all this BS between him and I. And no, not just so I can pursue Jack. I've wanted to be done for a long time now. I'm just scared I guess. And I don't want to leave him high and dry. Granted he was the reason we moved here. But he doesn't have any family out here. Despite my anger, hurt and resentment - he'll always be my best friend.
I'm sad that I know things are over with us. It breaks my heart. And yet, everyday I wanna scream out that I am just done. Why am I holding on? Why am I afraid to break free? Will I ever get past that???
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